Time for some campaignin'
by TooMuchCaffine
Summary: Title taken from a JibJab video,which I encourage you to watch! The team gathers for a tradition they practice every four years:watching the debates,get drunk, and exchange political insults. Makes more sense than the summary implies. Post 6x02


AN: This story is based on actual events. 1- my neighbors had a similar drinking contest, including the chosen words in this fic. 2- the whole Dem vs. Rep thing is based on what happened to me during my Japanese class. Democrats (my class, including the teacher) vs. Republicans (me, myself, and I). And yes, I did get called all of these things, and countered each and every one of them, then ran to the bathroom crying...not my best moment...

Oh, weird timeline thing going on here. This takes place after "Agent Afloat", but on the night of the 1st Presidential Debate. Yes, I know the episode didn't air until after, but I'm bending the rules a bit. Politicians do it all the time!

Enjoy ; P

* * *

"Okay, explain to me again how this works?" Ziva flopped down on the couch, beer in hand, "The point of this is to simply get as drunk as possible, yes?"

"Hell yeah!" Abby grinned

It was an annual tradition. Kate had started it, having personal experience with the American presidencies, and now four years from when they'd last gathered, Ziva had joined them. It wasn't the same, not having Kate there, but in a way, it was better having something to remember her by. Every four years they practiced this ritual, always at Gibbs' house.

"Alright." Tony set down bottles of various liquors on the coffee table in front of them, "Here's how it works. First, everyone picks a drink. Next, pick a candidate. Then, a word or phrase you think they're gonna use a lot. Every time that person says what you picked, you take a shot. Got it?"

Ziva nodded, "I think so. I choose, every time John McCain says, 'economy'." she poured herself a shot of tequila, turning the channel on the TV to ZNN news, covering the evening's debate.

"Very nice choice, Zee-Vah!" Tony praised, writing her name and pick on a piece of paper, "You're definitely gonna get wasted. Abbs?"

Abby walked into the living room, carrying a bowl of popcorn, "Every time Obama says the word, 'change'." she was met with a chorus of groans and mutters, "What?" she poured herself some bourbon, downing a starter shot

"Um, Abby? Are you sure that's wise? I mean, by the end of the evening, you won't have a liver left!" McGee pointed out, concerned for her

"Look, it's a Friday night. If we can't get drunk off our rockers now, when can we?" she shoved him aside, clearing some space between him and Ziva

"Hey!" Gibbs pushed McGee out of his lap, "You know, this is my house, I _can _kick you out. You can watch it at home."

"No, no," Abby gave him a hug, "We're grateful, thank you, it won't happen again, and all that jazz. How long do we have, Tony?"

Tony checked his watch, "Around eight minutes. Let's see here...every time McCain says 'Iraq'. McDemocrat?"

"Designated driver, remember?" McGee held up his wrist, wrapped in a spiked bracelet. Since they didn't have a designated driver bracelet like they give out at bars, Abby was more than happy to provide him with one, "Besides, I registered as a Republican this year."

"Good for you, McGee, go against the flow!" Abby hugged him, "Warmonger." she jeered

"Pinko commie." he countered

"Right-wing nut job!"

"Liberal wiener!"

"Environmental rapist!"

"Tree hugging environmentalist wack job!"

Abby sat pensively for a moment, trying to come up with another insult, "Hm, I'll get you later..." she promised

"Okay, now that that is settled, Gibbs?" he turned out the lights and turned up the volume as the moderator began introducing the candidates, "Last chance?"

"Every time Obama says, 'troops'." Gibbs decided, stealing Abby's bourbon

"Hey!" she protested

"'Hey' what?" he handed her back her empty glass, "Trust me, after hearing these airheads go at it for two hours, I'm gonna need it."

* * *

Ziva lay with her head in Tony's lap, hiccuping softly, "That was arguably the stupidest thing we've ever done." the debates had ended twenty minutes ahead of schedule, but it didn't matter. She was already too tipsy to move.

"No, this is," he clicked on the lamp, enticing pained groans from his teammates, "Sorry, need to be able to find the toilet when, not if, we puke."

"And just think, next week we get to do it all again with the VP's!" Abby cheered, "Hopefully, I can get drunk then." this debate was a bit of a disappointment. Obama didn't say the word "change" a single time, leaving Abby almost as sober as McGee. "Must have had some publicity advisor tell him not to do it; it's kind of become a teasing thing."

"Not one direct answer," Gibbs sighed, walking down the hall toward his bedroom, "All I ask of my candidates is that they be able to answer a simple question...DiNozzo, David?"

"Yes?" Ziva lifted her head, yawning tiredly

"Crash here," he tossed them a blanket, "I don't trust either of you home alone, and McGee and Abby aren't your babysitters." he'd had more to drink than Ziva, and almost as much as Tony, but he could hold his liquor pretty well. The fact that he had a good sixty pounds on Ziva helped.

"Can do, boss," Tony threw the blanket over his eyes, "Don't wake me until Monday."

"David, you may sleep in the guest room, seeing as Tony's out cold," he pointed down the hall, "McGee, I don't think she can walk."

"Yes, I can," she clumsily stumbled to her feet, "See? I can walk, and I am not drunk." her speech was noticeably slurred and when she tried to walk, Abby leaned forward to catch her as she fell

"McGee, take her down?" Abby smiled, holding up her semi-conscious friend, "Xenophobe?"

"Yeah, I got her," he gently scooped Ziva into his arms, ignoring Abby's taunts. His time in the cyber-crimes unit away from field work and exercise showed, as he struggled slightly with Ziva's weight, "Okay, let's get you into bed, Ziva."

"No, not tonight..." she groaned as he slid her under the covers

"Good night, Ziva," McGee smiled, leaving her to sleep of her inebriation

"So, Gibbs?" Abby smirked, "See ya next week?"

"Bring some more bourbon," he called from upstairs, "I'm gonna need it!"


End file.
